It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Sometimes the most difficult thing in the world to admit is that we are not okay...

I don't want everyone to know that I am struggling.

The last thing that I ever want is for anyone to look at me and feel sorry for me.

I'm not a victim, and I will get through this.

They would never look at me the same if they knew.

These are just a few of the lies that I tell myself on a regular basis. The things that I let run through my head just so that whenever anyone asks how I'm doing I say, "I'm good." Now obviously I can't just unload on every single person I come into contact with, but the question is do I tell anyone? Do I even get really honest in my prayers? Often the answer to both of those questions is no. That's tough for me to reconcile. I mean, how can I be a vessel to be used for God's glory if all I'm doing is working so hard to put a front up and hiding my real struggles? Is it really important for us to be honest about our struggles?

Scripture gives many examples of heroes of the faith that brought their struggles to God. Job, David, Elijah, and Paul are just a few that jump out at me as I think about that. I also notice though that as I read about them that many of them share their struggles with other people also. Paul tells the Corinthians in II Corinthians 12:5, "On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses." He goes on to speak of a thorn in his flesh given to "keep me from becoming conceited." Job spoke with his friends and his wife about all that he was going through. David shared many of his burdens with Jonathan. Elijah and Elisha surely shared many burdens together before Elijah was taken in a chariot of fire.

We were created for relationship. Relationship with God first and foremost, but we also need relationships here on earth. We need people to listen and to care, and we are called to do the same for them. Christ came that we may have life and have it abundantly. I don't know about you, but if I'm trying to put on a facade it's hard to live an abundant life. When I finally let go of some of the secrets and the burdens though it's like I can move forward with hope. Holding so tightly to the idea that we are always supposed to be okay can be so damaging. It's okay to not be okay. Jesus is waiting there to hear each one of your struggles, be painfully honest with Him. Then find that person that you can trust, someone who will cry with you and pray with you. That's how you get to okay from not being okay.

Many times today I see evangelical Christians who forget that Jesus is ALL that we need. I hear so often stories of how God showed up just when they needed it. God isn't there though just to help us through our trials or help when the bills need to be paid. He created a world that we brought sin into, and with sin comes pain and heartache. There are Christians suffering around the world today who may not get the food they need to make it through the day. They may be beaten to death behind bars. Does that mean that God didn't show up when they needed it? NO!!!! The reality is that He showed up when we needed a Savior. He came as a baby, fully God and fully man. He came ready to take the sin of the world on His shoulders. He came ready to experience not just an excruciatingly painful death, but an unimaginable separation from His Father. Jesus already showed up for us when we needed it.

So today maybe you aren't okay and in reality you may not be okay anytime soon, but that's okay. Jesus is there to walk with you while you're in the middle of it. He's also promised you an amazing future if you just choose to follow Him now. It will all be okay one day, maybe not this week, this month, or even in this lifetime but one day...

"I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." - Isaiah 61:10 ESV

It's Time to Get Real

To be honest I'm kind of sick of hearing about how great things are for you, not to be mean or anything. It's just that once I want to hear a "painfully real" testimony. Don't get me wrong I'm not discounting anyone's testimony, that's not my place or purpose. I just want pure unadulterated honesty. Honesty that says, "Yeah, I believe. Yeah, life still isn't amazing." As humans our nature is to seek out the heroes, the overcomers, the successful, but the truth is sometimes faith itself is the reward. I hear so many testimonies of people who talk about God's blessings and the prosperity they've found by following Christ. That just isn't the case for everyone, or for that matter it's usually not the case for most of us.

Just one time I want to hear someone be completely honest about how their circumstances were still pretty rough even after choosing to embrace faith full-on. They still struggled daily, still got sick, still had to suffer tragedies, etc. I don't for one second believe that God loves His children who fight and scrape to just stay alive anymore than those who are prospering with no worries of where their next meal will come from. Please understand that I realize that I am unbelievably blessed. I also realize that at the end of the day God isn't my "genie in a bottle". Just because I choose to do or not do certain things doesn't mean life is going to be grand. At the end of the day our faith has only promised us one thing in this life...that we won't go through the bad stuff alone.

Our reward isn't meant to be here on earth. So while we may celebrate the blessings that some have just keep in mind that it doesn't paint a picture of God's love for anyone. Remember that the person who is barely hanging on may be stronger in faith than you or I could ever be. Remember that we aren't going to ever get it all while we're here. And most of all remember that faith isn't truly faith if it's all about what you get or how you've been blessed. Faith is about hope and knowing that there is something so much better waiting for us. So look to the ones who haven't arrived but are still fighting...they are strong ones. The fight is what makes us all strong, because that's when faith is harder to hold onto.