I Found the One!

It is amazing to think that the God who knows all of me

even more intimately than I know myself

still loves me enough to pursue me each and every day.

You know when you have one of those thoughts that just jumps into your head, and you're kind of overwhelmed by it? That's pretty much what the thought above was. It's one of those things that if you grew up in church you've heard over and over. The idea that God loves and pursues us is one of those things that they say at church a lot. It's a whole different ballgame though after it sinks in and becomes really real to you.

Let me give you a little more information so you kind of know where this came from for me. I have a tendency to use the notes section on my phone to record so many different things. I will type out random, funny thoughts or reminders. I also use it when inspiration hits, or there is a really deep thought that I want to go back to later on. The latter is exactly what this was. It came to me as I spent time with someone who at one point in my life (like 20 years ago) I thought I was going to marry. That's a whole different blog though, let's get back to the main thing. The thought I quickly recorded in my phone is in itself overwhelming, humbling, and just downright awe-inspiring to me. When I went back to the thought later on though, is when it really came alive.

If most of us are honest with ourselves we will freely admit that we truly desire to love and be loved. I'm definitely in that category of people. As a divorced, single mom there is a part of me that wonders if I am ever going to find that "knight in shining armor". I try to avoid the pitfalls of jumping into that whole "this guy is THE ONE" mindset. It's tough sometimes to accept the reality that while God has a plan for me, the guys I meet and/or date have just as much of a free will as I do. At the end of the day it comes down to the choices we each make every day. It's a realization that God may direct certain things, but we all have the choice of whether or not we want to stay and live in His will. That's a hard thing to realize and own. It gets really hard when you are face to face with that person that you think really could be "THE ONE" that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

This is the moment when God stepped in to remind me that HE is my ONLY ONE. Please listen to my heart, God is and always will be the only one we need. Of course that doesn't mean that your marriage isn't/wasn't blessed and possibly even ordained by God. I am thrilled for you if you have that! For those who don't though, I truly hope you find comfort in what I am about to say. Knowing that God is your One means that if your partner (or the person you expected to be your partner) chooses to step out of God's will (or to never even step into it) that you are no less loved and pursued by the true Lover of Your Soul. It also means that there are lots of other people in the same boat, and that means that God may be preparing and planning to direct your paths together with someone who is dealing with the same kind of situation. Just take that in for a moment...

I don't know about you, but that almost makes me want to shout. That is beyond freeing to a single woman (or man) that struggles with wondering if there is something wrong with them or if they are good enough. I can answer both of those questions easily... yes and YES! Yep, you read that right...something is wrong with you. It's the same thing that's wrong with all of us...sin. We are selfish and broken and needy and scattered and just flat out human. That means it's even more amazing to realize that the God who knows all of you still loves you and pursues you. You are and always have been good enough for His love and forgiveness. So rest in that, dear child of God. Whether you are single, divorced, happily married, unhappily married or whatever category you want to throw yourself in...God loves you beyond compare. He pursues you. He longs to be close to you. He is so much more than a partner could ever be. He is the King of kings and the Lord of lords, and He loves you more than you could ever know. He will always be enough.

 

"But God put his love on the line for us

by offering his Son in sacrificial death

while we were of no use whatever to him."

~ Romans 5:8 (MSG)~

Overwhelming Grace

Inspired by the story of the woman caught in adultery from John 8

I will never forget that day. Jesus literally saved my life that day. It started out just like any other day. I found myself craving affection and attention as usual. You see, I allowed myself to believe that these men really wanted me. For the short time that I was with them I allowed myself to believe that I was loved. So again I blindly went into the arms of another man. This day was different though. What happened was much worse than the normal events. The emotions that come along with being used and then immediately pushed aside were bad enough, but this day was so much worse. I was once again in the arms of another man when suddenly I was being pulled into the street. As I dropped the garments I was dragging behind me and was thrown on the ground I realized this was much worse than just being used and thrown away. I quickly understood that these men intended to stone me. These men were exposing all of my disgrace and shame for the world to see. Fear gripped me, but there was nothing I could do.

Then I saw Him...He was the man that so many had spoken of. He was supposed to be kind and loving. How could He be here in the midst of this?  Had everyone completely misjudged Him? Was He no different than the rest of them? I heard the men who had taken me ask Him what they should do to me. I struggled to cover myself as best I could only failing with my garments laying on the ground some feet away from me. I realized He had not answered yet. I looked up and saw Him writing in the sand. Everyone's eyes were on Him, and this gave me the chance to grab my garments and compose myself just a little bit. It was my last chance to have any shred of decency. Then I finally heard Him speak.

I will never forget His words, "Let him among you who is without sin cast the first stone." Now, I probably knew better than anyone that most of these men were covered in sin. Many of them were the very men who took me into their bed. Others had groped me or flirted with me in public. That didn't matter to them obviously though considering the man they found me with was still safe in his home. I waited with my eyes tightly shut to feel that first stone slam into my body. Seconds flew by, and then the moments began to pass. I never felt that first stone. 

After what seemed like an eternity I opened my eyes to see all those accusing me were gone. Only this one man stood gazing at me with love in His eyes. It was different than the way most men looked at me. His eyes weren't filled with lust or hatred, but there was love and kindness there. For the first time in a long time I truly felt loved. He took my hand and asked me simply, "Where are they? Does no one condemn you?" Trembling I realized there was no one there to condemn me. My heart filled with fear as I looked into His eyes. What did this man think of me? How could it be that He would truly care? Then He told me, "I don't condemn you either. Now go and sin no more." I didn't understand. How is it possible that this Godly man didn't condemn me? Why would this man care for me so much? 

Overwhelmed by His love and kindness I slowly walked away. It hasn't been easy, but I have tried to walk away from all those things that put me there in the first place. There are days that I struggle with my sin, and I have to fight to keep from returning to my old ways. Then I remember the love in His eyes. It reminds me that love is pure. Love has nothing to do with what I did all those years before. That man who changed my life became quite famous. A short time later He was killed on a cross by many of the same people that accused me that day. I don't understand it. Why was I spared, yet this man wasn't? There was definitely something special about Him. He was so much more than what I had been told. I truly believe that He was the Messiah sent to save and rescue us. He saved me. Without a doubt He changed my life forever, and because of Him I will strive each day to "Go and sin no more."