Hope Is a Thing with Power

Darkness can be overwhelming. It can almost feel smothering. There are times when the darkness can seem as though it’s taking over. I can only imagine that Jesus’ friends and family felt that way on the Friday that He was crucified. They likely went home that day in a deep despair. The One they expected to save them all was lying in a borrowed tomb. They believed that all was lost.

Loss can bring on darkness, and we have to choose how to face that darkness much like they did. Despair can break us if we allow it to, but there is one thing that allows us to overcome despair...hope. Sunday morning is all about hope. 

Emily Dickinson said that “Hope is a thing with feathers,” but I think it may be more accurate to say that hope is a thing with power. The power that came with Christ’s resurrection changes the world. The power that came with the resurrection changes lives. It makes the vilest of sinners clean. 

Jesus’ sacrifice was redemptive, and it was His resurrection that gives us hope and assurance of the power in that sacrifice. Hope is a thing with power, and Easter is all about hope. It may be dark right now, but rest assured there is always hope. We know this because Jesus is alive. Because He is risen we have hope.

It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Sometimes the most difficult thing in the world to admit is that we are not okay...

I don't want everyone to know that I am struggling.

The last thing that I ever want is for anyone to look at me and feel sorry for me.

I'm not a victim, and I will get through this.

They would never look at me the same if they knew.

These are just a few of the lies that I tell myself on a regular basis. The things that I let run through my head just so that whenever anyone asks how I'm doing I say, "I'm good." Now obviously I can't just unload on every single person I come into contact with, but the question is do I tell anyone? Do I even get really honest in my prayers? Often the answer to both of those questions is no. That's tough for me to reconcile. I mean, how can I be a vessel to be used for God's glory if all I'm doing is working so hard to put a front up and hiding my real struggles? Is it really important for us to be honest about our struggles?

Scripture gives many examples of heroes of the faith that brought their struggles to God. Job, David, Elijah, and Paul are just a few that jump out at me as I think about that. I also notice though that as I read about them that many of them share their struggles with other people also. Paul tells the Corinthians in II Corinthians 12:5, "On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses." He goes on to speak of a thorn in his flesh given to "keep me from becoming conceited." Job spoke with his friends and his wife about all that he was going through. David shared many of his burdens with Jonathan. Elijah and Elisha surely shared many burdens together before Elijah was taken in a chariot of fire.

We were created for relationship. Relationship with God first and foremost, but we also need relationships here on earth. We need people to listen and to care, and we are called to do the same for them. Christ came that we may have life and have it abundantly. I don't know about you, but if I'm trying to put on a facade it's hard to live an abundant life. When I finally let go of some of the secrets and the burdens though it's like I can move forward with hope. Holding so tightly to the idea that we are always supposed to be okay can be so damaging. It's okay to not be okay. Jesus is waiting there to hear each one of your struggles, be painfully honest with Him. Then find that person that you can trust, someone who will cry with you and pray with you. That's how you get to okay from not being okay.

Many times today I see evangelical Christians who forget that Jesus is ALL that we need. I hear so often stories of how God showed up just when they needed it. God isn't there though just to help us through our trials or help when the bills need to be paid. He created a world that we brought sin into, and with sin comes pain and heartache. There are Christians suffering around the world today who may not get the food they need to make it through the day. They may be beaten to death behind bars. Does that mean that God didn't show up when they needed it? NO!!!! The reality is that He showed up when we needed a Savior. He came as a baby, fully God and fully man. He came ready to take the sin of the world on His shoulders. He came ready to experience not just an excruciatingly painful death, but an unimaginable separation from His Father. Jesus already showed up for us when we needed it.

So today maybe you aren't okay and in reality you may not be okay anytime soon, but that's okay. Jesus is there to walk with you while you're in the middle of it. He's also promised you an amazing future if you just choose to follow Him now. It will all be okay one day, maybe not this week, this month, or even in this lifetime but one day...

"I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." - Isaiah 61:10 ESV

I Found the One!

It is amazing to think that the God who knows all of me

even more intimately than I know myself

still loves me enough to pursue me each and every day.

You know when you have one of those thoughts that just jumps into your head, and you're kind of overwhelmed by it? That's pretty much what the thought above was. It's one of those things that if you grew up in church you've heard over and over. The idea that God loves and pursues us is one of those things that they say at church a lot. It's a whole different ballgame though after it sinks in and becomes really real to you.

Let me give you a little more information so you kind of know where this came from for me. I have a tendency to use the notes section on my phone to record so many different things. I will type out random, funny thoughts or reminders. I also use it when inspiration hits, or there is a really deep thought that I want to go back to later on. The latter is exactly what this was. It came to me as I spent time with someone who at one point in my life (like 20 years ago) I thought I was going to marry. That's a whole different blog though, let's get back to the main thing. The thought I quickly recorded in my phone is in itself overwhelming, humbling, and just downright awe-inspiring to me. When I went back to the thought later on though, is when it really came alive.

If most of us are honest with ourselves we will freely admit that we truly desire to love and be loved. I'm definitely in that category of people. As a divorced, single mom there is a part of me that wonders if I am ever going to find that "knight in shining armor". I try to avoid the pitfalls of jumping into that whole "this guy is THE ONE" mindset. It's tough sometimes to accept the reality that while God has a plan for me, the guys I meet and/or date have just as much of a free will as I do. At the end of the day it comes down to the choices we each make every day. It's a realization that God may direct certain things, but we all have the choice of whether or not we want to stay and live in His will. That's a hard thing to realize and own. It gets really hard when you are face to face with that person that you think really could be "THE ONE" that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

This is the moment when God stepped in to remind me that HE is my ONLY ONE. Please listen to my heart, God is and always will be the only one we need. Of course that doesn't mean that your marriage isn't/wasn't blessed and possibly even ordained by God. I am thrilled for you if you have that! For those who don't though, I truly hope you find comfort in what I am about to say. Knowing that God is your One means that if your partner (or the person you expected to be your partner) chooses to step out of God's will (or to never even step into it) that you are no less loved and pursued by the true Lover of Your Soul. It also means that there are lots of other people in the same boat, and that means that God may be preparing and planning to direct your paths together with someone who is dealing with the same kind of situation. Just take that in for a moment...

I don't know about you, but that almost makes me want to shout. That is beyond freeing to a single woman (or man) that struggles with wondering if there is something wrong with them or if they are good enough. I can answer both of those questions easily... yes and YES! Yep, you read that right...something is wrong with you. It's the same thing that's wrong with all of us...sin. We are selfish and broken and needy and scattered and just flat out human. That means it's even more amazing to realize that the God who knows all of you still loves you and pursues you. You are and always have been good enough for His love and forgiveness. So rest in that, dear child of God. Whether you are single, divorced, happily married, unhappily married or whatever category you want to throw yourself in...God loves you beyond compare. He pursues you. He longs to be close to you. He is so much more than a partner could ever be. He is the King of kings and the Lord of lords, and He loves you more than you could ever know. He will always be enough.

 

"But God put his love on the line for us

by offering his Son in sacrificial death

while we were of no use whatever to him."

~ Romans 5:8 (MSG)~

It's Time to Get Real

To be honest I'm kind of sick of hearing about how great things are for you, not to be mean or anything. It's just that once I want to hear a "painfully real" testimony. Don't get me wrong I'm not discounting anyone's testimony, that's not my place or purpose. I just want pure unadulterated honesty. Honesty that says, "Yeah, I believe. Yeah, life still isn't amazing." As humans our nature is to seek out the heroes, the overcomers, the successful, but the truth is sometimes faith itself is the reward. I hear so many testimonies of people who talk about God's blessings and the prosperity they've found by following Christ. That just isn't the case for everyone, or for that matter it's usually not the case for most of us.

Just one time I want to hear someone be completely honest about how their circumstances were still pretty rough even after choosing to embrace faith full-on. They still struggled daily, still got sick, still had to suffer tragedies, etc. I don't for one second believe that God loves His children who fight and scrape to just stay alive anymore than those who are prospering with no worries of where their next meal will come from. Please understand that I realize that I am unbelievably blessed. I also realize that at the end of the day God isn't my "genie in a bottle". Just because I choose to do or not do certain things doesn't mean life is going to be grand. At the end of the day our faith has only promised us one thing in this life...that we won't go through the bad stuff alone.

Our reward isn't meant to be here on earth. So while we may celebrate the blessings that some have just keep in mind that it doesn't paint a picture of God's love for anyone. Remember that the person who is barely hanging on may be stronger in faith than you or I could ever be. Remember that we aren't going to ever get it all while we're here. And most of all remember that faith isn't truly faith if it's all about what you get or how you've been blessed. Faith is about hope and knowing that there is something so much better waiting for us. So look to the ones who haven't arrived but are still fighting...they are strong ones. The fight is what makes us all strong, because that's when faith is harder to hold onto.

Why Love?

I guess you could say that I’m a person who looks at life, love, religion, and politics through a different lens than most. You see, I was born and raised in a home that taught me to love and follow Jesus Christ. My parents are amazing, without a doubt better than I deserve. We don't always see eye to eye on everything, but I just pray that I make them half as proud as I am of them. They took me to church every Sunday, Wednesday, and any other day there was something going on. At times it drove me crazy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything now.

My parents definitely had a major impact on the person that I am today. Parents can do their best, but they can't determine a person's path. So just as everyone else does, I made my own choices as I grew up and became an adult. Many of those choices affected my outlook and my experiences. Some of my friends know my past and know the struggles I've dealt with. In fact, I’m not shy about sharing it. If you want to know just ask, my past has made me who I am today. My past is what teaches me to look at things in a way that’s a little bit out of the box. I’ve been that lost girl who didn’t have a clue where to turn, that woman going through struggles that no woman should have to face, that soul in need of grace and forgiveness when all I deserved was condemnation. Until you’ve been in those positions you just don’t understand.

When I see a woman on the side of the road begging for money, I remember that without the amazing people God has put in my life that could very well be me. When the girl sits down across from me in my office to apply for assistance, I remember what it was like to have to depend on others to survive. Most of all though when I see someone so bogged down with the dirt and grime that this world and sin often drags us through, I see the person that Christ chose to die for. You see, it wasn’t just me or you He came for…it was every single nasty, disgusting, ugly individual on this earth. My past reminds me to put that in perspective. It's difficult for many of us to understand how people fall to the places that they do. We have to make a conscious effort to see the soul loved by God and full of value. 

So when you see that person who is so full of hate for the things of God look at them with the love that so many choose not to give them. Show them that even though they don’t agree with you and see things the way you do that you love them because that’s what we’re called to do. We hear so much about the fight against Christianity. Our world is a fallen world. The world can be expected to act like the world every day, and it really shouldn't surprise us. It can lead us to our knees. It can lead us to love with an amazing love. That is how the fight is won. Yes, we must share the gospel and preach the truth (II Tim. 4:2). It all has to be done in love, because without love we are doing nothing but making noise (I Cor. 13:1). The most tremendous battle of all was won with Jesus Christ’s amazing love and sacrifice on Calvary. That is our victory. His sacrifice is the hope of this world. If we don't get that and we don’t live that then so many will miss out on what they could have.

Faith and Feminism

Today is International Women's Day, so I thought I would share a little bit about how I view my role and purpose as a Christian woman in today's world. Like many other Christian women I have been afraid of the feminist label. To put it very simply modern feminism has completely distorted into something that I just do not want to be associated with. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to unpack that for most of you to understand why, so here goes...

Like many of you I watched the Women's Marches around the world in January. There were a couple of things that could have caused me to be embarrassed to even be a woman during all of that. First of all, I do not and nor will I ever equate my value to my body parts. I make this statement knowing that the immediate comeback is going to be, "That wasn't the point!" I'm sorry to tell you this ladies, but your "point" was completely overshadowed by the hats, the costumes, and the vulgar language. I'm more than happy to debate this with you, but it would take way too long for me to explain why in this venue. Secondly, I am beyond offended by the idea that standing up for the unborn is considered backwards and unfair to women. Understand this very clearly...medical procedures that are necessary under certain circumstances are very different from the use of abortion as a form of birth control! I will not change my mind on this. That said, I do not consider you to be a horrible person if you have made that choice at some point. I cannot imagine what I would do when faced with the circumstances and choices that some women are faced with, and I love you no matter what your past is like. God is a God of second, third, and 300th chances. Thankfully He never gives up on us, so I choose not to give up on you either. I had a few other issues with how things were done, but those were the big ones so I'll move on.

For those of you who don't know me I should share that I was at one point in an abusive relationship for a long time. It has taken me several years to wrap my head around what a healthy relationship should look like, and I'm not even sure that I am completely there yet. This is something that I feel you need to know, because in discussing feminism I need you to understand that I am trying my hardest to be a voice for the voiceless. Abuse, human trafficking, sexual exploitation are very important issues for me. I will fight any day for any woman who is being victimized. This is one of the reasons I cannot be part of the modern feminist movement. Many of the things modern day feminists fight for are only contributing to the problems. Pornography is rampant in our society, and one of the leading causes of human trafficking today. As women we must fight to protect other women, and fighting for your right to bare it all for the world to see is not helping the issue. Modesty is so much more than you realize. It is our chance as women to fight the oversexualization of women. Our society has trained men to see us as objects rather than people. As women we are the ones who have to fight that. We need to teach our girls that they are not property, objects, or someone to be controlled. Relationships are not meant to be a way to wield power over your partner. Oh, and don't get me wrong women do that too. That's another post for another day.

My faith colors all of my viewpoints. I can't get away from it. I actually tried once. It was then that I realized that the love of an all powerful God who was willing to give His Son to die for me was something that I would not ever be willing to let go of. You may call it a fairytale, but trust me there is no feeling better than knowing that you are truly loved unconditionally. That's why I choose every day to believe that my Jesus died for me. So what does Jesus have to do with feminism you ask. Well, Jesus came and challenged the social norms when it came to women. Jesus recognized women on a regular basis in a society that marginalized them regularly. At the feeding of the 5,000 the disciples didn't count the women when they told Jesus the size of the crowd. They likely didn't count the women, because no one ever counted the women back then. Jesus on the other hand sought out women to heal, to redeem, to rescue. God allowed Ruth and Rahab to be named in the lineage of Jesus Christ. Elizabeth and Mary had extraordinary roles in bringing the message of salvation to the world. God allowed a male and a female (Anna) to prophesy over Jesus in the temple. Jesus appointed someone to care for His mother after His death. Jesus chose to appear after His resurrection to a woman (Mary Magdalene) first, and He allowed women to spread the news to the world. The early Christian church spoke of many women who were involved in many ways (Priscilla, Lydia, Dorcas, and others). If you don't believe that Jesus had a heart for women, you are very mistaken.

So where do I find myself when it comes to be a Christian and the question of should I be a feminist. My response is the I believe we should all have a heart like Jesus Christ when it comes to women (and all people). So how do I make my heart like Christ's? I choose love. I see that men and women are fundamentally different in so many ways, but that is a good thing. It is something we all should embrace. Women are treasured and loved by God. I choose to see your beauty, your worth, and love you no matter what. Women aren't meant to be used or discounted. Yes, I want very much to be able to use my voice as a woman. I am beyond grateful for women like Susan B. Anthony and Sojourner Truth. I fully believe that I should speak out against women being marginalized and treated as second class citizens. I don't believe that makes me the same as a man though. I am different than most men. They may not share my emotional strength, my capacity to love and forgive, my compassion, my love for all things girlie, and so on. I don't share many qualities that are more common to men, and I'm okay with that. There is nothing wrong with being different from each other. That's the great thing about respect. I respect the differences, and I admire those who know their strengths and use them well. So if you want to call that feminism, that's the kind of feminist I want to be.

Overwhelming Grace

Inspired by the story of the woman caught in adultery from John 8

I will never forget that day. Jesus literally saved my life that day. It started out just like any other day. I found myself craving affection and attention as usual. You see, I allowed myself to believe that these men really wanted me. For the short time that I was with them I allowed myself to believe that I was loved. So again I blindly went into the arms of another man. This day was different though. What happened was much worse than the normal events. The emotions that come along with being used and then immediately pushed aside were bad enough, but this day was so much worse. I was once again in the arms of another man when suddenly I was being pulled into the street. As I dropped the garments I was dragging behind me and was thrown on the ground I realized this was much worse than just being used and thrown away. I quickly understood that these men intended to stone me. These men were exposing all of my disgrace and shame for the world to see. Fear gripped me, but there was nothing I could do.

Then I saw Him...He was the man that so many had spoken of. He was supposed to be kind and loving. How could He be here in the midst of this?  Had everyone completely misjudged Him? Was He no different than the rest of them? I heard the men who had taken me ask Him what they should do to me. I struggled to cover myself as best I could only failing with my garments laying on the ground some feet away from me. I realized He had not answered yet. I looked up and saw Him writing in the sand. Everyone's eyes were on Him, and this gave me the chance to grab my garments and compose myself just a little bit. It was my last chance to have any shred of decency. Then I finally heard Him speak.

I will never forget His words, "Let him among you who is without sin cast the first stone." Now, I probably knew better than anyone that most of these men were covered in sin. Many of them were the very men who took me into their bed. Others had groped me or flirted with me in public. That didn't matter to them obviously though considering the man they found me with was still safe in his home. I waited with my eyes tightly shut to feel that first stone slam into my body. Seconds flew by, and then the moments began to pass. I never felt that first stone. 

After what seemed like an eternity I opened my eyes to see all those accusing me were gone. Only this one man stood gazing at me with love in His eyes. It was different than the way most men looked at me. His eyes weren't filled with lust or hatred, but there was love and kindness there. For the first time in a long time I truly felt loved. He took my hand and asked me simply, "Where are they? Does no one condemn you?" Trembling I realized there was no one there to condemn me. My heart filled with fear as I looked into His eyes. What did this man think of me? How could it be that He would truly care? Then He told me, "I don't condemn you either. Now go and sin no more." I didn't understand. How is it possible that this Godly man didn't condemn me? Why would this man care for me so much? 

Overwhelmed by His love and kindness I slowly walked away. It hasn't been easy, but I have tried to walk away from all those things that put me there in the first place. There are days that I struggle with my sin, and I have to fight to keep from returning to my old ways. Then I remember the love in His eyes. It reminds me that love is pure. Love has nothing to do with what I did all those years before. That man who changed my life became quite famous. A short time later He was killed on a cross by many of the same people that accused me that day. I don't understand it. Why was I spared, yet this man wasn't? There was definitely something special about Him. He was so much more than what I had been told. I truly believe that He was the Messiah sent to save and rescue us. He saved me. Without a doubt He changed my life forever, and because of Him I will strive each day to "Go and sin no more."